11-11-11

i know this means something... but i cant imagine what.
i mean, its obviously significant.
for example: just today some amish kid cut off his dads beard. dont tell me theres nothing to that!
thats like something out of a bob dylan song.
i mean, its veterans day, which might have something to do with it.
maybe wars? something war related?
or, if you do the math than you get -11, so maybe its about something negative happening.
like maybe a bad war?
but its getting pretty late, so im not sure thats going to go down today.
and when you google it, you get a lot of people talking about how 11/11 numerical sequences have something to do with angels, which seems like it would be a good thing, but angels also tend to show up when the worlds going to end. but thats not going down till next year...
...
i dont know.
i wish my lame friends would have gone to see 11-11-11 with me.
that would have cleared some shit up.

Spooktacular 2011 Lineup

Watch this space (with all due apologies)

Movie Review: 'Taxidermia'

i almost threw up / *****

im not really sure how youre supposed to rate an experience like that.
i mean, i guess that was what they were going for. so... good for them?
if youre a hungarian maybe you can better appreciate the subtle satire of a guy with a hare lip having sex with a dead pig during wwii.
for everyone else the rewards of experiencing this are a little harder to quantify.

April Fool's Day

i know its been a while, but i wanted to wish everybody a happy april fools day.
aka - the day when everyone is encouraged to play practical jokes, and ironically the day when practical jokes are least likely to pay off since everyone will be expecting them.
if you think about it, april fools day is a giant practical joke on all the practical jokers.
good one chaucer.
personally i havent participated in such things since 9/11 (we will never forget).
i think that america needs greater unity than ever in these dark days, but thats just me.
so enjoy putting plastic spiders in the food of your fellow americans.
ill bet osama bin laden would think that was a laugh riot.

Movie Review: 'Irreversible'

*** / *****

its a little late for valentines day, but if youve ever left a movie thinking, "that anal rape scene felt truncated," this is the movie for you.
also, never talk to me again.
thanks.

V-Day Heist

hey did you hear about that stuff in egypt?
thats pretty cool.
i feel the same way about it as i do about the cowboys & aliens movie.
im cautiously optimistic.
still i worry that civil order might be on the decline. first the stuff in the middle east, and then just yesterday i saw some guy steal a rose from food lion.
and i just let it happen.
i mean, i saw the guy slipping it under his coat and heading for the door, and i could have alerted the cashier, but i didnt.
cause i thought to myself, as i do in all high stress situations, “what would jesus do?” and i imagined that his reaction would be much the same as mine. specifically that hed be scared the guy would say, “man, what? i dont even have the scratch to buy my old lady a rose, and you want to hassle me about it? well i dont have five dollars, shylock! will a pound of flesh do?”
and then hed stab me.
and really hed have to, cause that rose was probably for someone special.
at least i assume it was. i doubt you could get much crack in exchange for a single red rose.
unless your dealer was a hopeless romantic, which i imagine would be hell for business.
so hopefully some poor person is a little happier this valentines day.
i guess if you dont have the money to buy someone you love a gift, its always best to steal it.
at least this way he wont end up like the gift of the magi.
unless his girlfriend took out a loan to buy him a super expensive “im so proud of you for not stealing my valentines day present” medal.
have a happy one.

Book Review: Extreme Canvas

***** / *****

i know what you’re thinking:
“$50 for a book? thats way too expensive!”
its ok that you think that.
youre just ignorant.
the question is, what are you going to do once youve educated yourself?
i think youll make the right decision.