well its that time of year again.
where it stops being one year and starts being another.
and we owe it to ourselves to make up for how terrible we were last year by shaping up.
so i just want everyone to know what they have to look forward to this year:
1) i will start wearing much tighter jeans, ive worked to hard on this bod not to show it off.
2) find an alternate fuel sorce, or at least pretend to and develop a pyramid scheme around it. basically get rich.
3) and, i cannot stress this one enough, be kinder to the elderly. i mean they put up with enough what with nobody loving them. they dont need me making it worse.
so i think we can all agree with me taking action like this, this will be a great year.
originally posted: Friday, December 31, 2004
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Snuff Film
now that the holidays are over i have more time to spend with gary.
which isnt that great.
cause gary is an artist.
but hes like one of those artists who draws cartoons that dont have punch lines.
anyway gary got a camera this christmas
and now he wants to make a snuff film
not a real one.
something like that japanese one charlie sheen saw
i know what he really wants.
he wants to get sarah over to his house.
why?
shes flexible
so he wanted sarah to be the victim but she said no
so now we have to make our snuff film with her fat little brother.
totally gay.
originally posted: Tuesday, December 28, 2004
which isnt that great.
cause gary is an artist.
but hes like one of those artists who draws cartoons that dont have punch lines.
anyway gary got a camera this christmas
and now he wants to make a snuff film
not a real one.
something like that japanese one charlie sheen saw
i know what he really wants.
he wants to get sarah over to his house.
why?
shes flexible
so he wanted sarah to be the victim but she said no
so now we have to make our snuff film with her fat little brother.
totally gay.
originally posted: Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Event: Sunday, December 26, 2004
Kwanzaa - 1 star
When: Sunday, December 26, 2004 @ 12:00 AM
Duration: 7 days
Where: In the homes of many disappointed children
if your family celebrates kwanzaa, you probably hate them.
i know this because i visited the kwanzaa website.
and it said gifts "must always include a book and a heritage symbol. The book is to emphasize the African value and tradition of learning stressed since ancient Egypt, and the heritage symbol to reaffirm and reinforce the African commitment to tradition and history."
so have fun with that.
ill be celebrating black culture by playing grand theft auto: san andreas.
Event: Saturday, December 25, 2004
Christmas - 5 stars with christmas right around the corner, there has been a lot of panic regarding "the true meaning of christmas". |
Christmas Eve
well it looks like ill have a white christmas this year.
thats right, my relatives are all here!
zing!
they hate it when i say that but none of them are rich enough to make me care.
but at this time of year we should all be grateful that we christians have been blessed with the best december holiday.
hanukka, omisoka, fiesta of our lady of guadalupe, kwanzaa.
they dont even compare!
especially kwanzaa.
i know i have been hard on it but it deserves all of it.
and more.
i still think kwanzaa is just something the wayans brothers made up. those wayans, they are always making up holidays or dressing up as white chicks.
man i saw that white chick movie when it first came out and im still laughing!
what was i talking about?
oh yes, count your blessings christian soldiers.
and have a merry christmas.
now would your christmas have been merry if i hadnt wished you one?
perhaps.
but are you really willing to take that risk?
originally posted: Friday, December 24, 2004
thats right, my relatives are all here!
zing!
they hate it when i say that but none of them are rich enough to make me care.
but at this time of year we should all be grateful that we christians have been blessed with the best december holiday.
hanukka, omisoka, fiesta of our lady of guadalupe, kwanzaa.
they dont even compare!
especially kwanzaa.
i know i have been hard on it but it deserves all of it.
and more.
i still think kwanzaa is just something the wayans brothers made up. those wayans, they are always making up holidays or dressing up as white chicks.
man i saw that white chick movie when it first came out and im still laughing!
what was i talking about?
oh yes, count your blessings christian soldiers.
and have a merry christmas.
now would your christmas have been merry if i hadnt wished you one?
perhaps.
but are you really willing to take that risk?
originally posted: Friday, December 24, 2004
Kwanzaa
dude im finally out of school.
winter break
in my last class of the day my teacher wished us a merry christmas
then jamal was all like “hey i celebrate kwanzaa. should i not have a merry kwanzaa, cause im black?”
first of all, jamal is not black. his dad is black. his mom is not. and no matter how many times he reads malcom xs autobiography that will never change.
secondly, i dont know what kwanzaa is.
i think it is black hanukkah, but i could be wrong.
but it isnt a real holiday because whenever it is they still deliver mail and mail men have every day off.
in fact Kwanzaa might be the only day mail is delivered.
so i was all like, “hey im half wookie. what about a merry life day?”
then jamal was all like, “dont belittle my culture by comparing it to some star wars christmas musical.”
so i was like, “dont belittle my star wars christmas musical by saying kwanzaa is more important than it.”
so long story short, jamal sucks.
and if i knew what kwanzaa was im sure i would think it sucked too.
originally posted: Wednesday, December 22, 2004
winter break
in my last class of the day my teacher wished us a merry christmas
then jamal was all like “hey i celebrate kwanzaa. should i not have a merry kwanzaa, cause im black?”
first of all, jamal is not black. his dad is black. his mom is not. and no matter how many times he reads malcom xs autobiography that will never change.
secondly, i dont know what kwanzaa is.
i think it is black hanukkah, but i could be wrong.
but it isnt a real holiday because whenever it is they still deliver mail and mail men have every day off.
in fact Kwanzaa might be the only day mail is delivered.
so i was all like, “hey im half wookie. what about a merry life day?”
then jamal was all like, “dont belittle my culture by comparing it to some star wars christmas musical.”
so i was like, “dont belittle my star wars christmas musical by saying kwanzaa is more important than it.”
so long story short, jamal sucks.
and if i knew what kwanzaa was im sure i would think it sucked too.
originally posted: Wednesday, December 22, 2004
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