2008 Spooktacular Lineup

Spooktacular #5 - The Wicker Man
“oh la-de-da! im a self-satisfied smart ass college student. whats this? a remake of the wicker man? that sounds like it will make a great term paper! tootley tum tee tum.”
(2 hours later)
“oh no! neil labute has made a film that deals with gender relations in a way more insightful and terrifying than any of my pretentious papers for my class “emily bronte and colonialism.” this cant be! i know, ill use the editing software on my mac to take random scenes out of context and make the movie look silly. now no one will take the wicker man remake seriously. ho ho, what a lark! wait till i show the boys in “the jewish diaspora in the works of marcel proust” this!”
the gigs up.
dont listen to the hype: this movies great and ill be spreading the word at this years spooktacular.

Spooktacular #4 - Frogs
i have a friend who is taking this year off to “you know… like, find myself… explore… stuff like that.”
i thought that was pretty cool, but all hes done with that time is grow a pony tail and join greenpeace.
now i have to keep pretending i dont know/see him when he asks me if i want to sign a petition to save the earth.
people have always been worried about the environment, and back in the 70s people thought nature was one dropped gum wrapper away from taking us all out.
case in point: frogs, a film about almost every animal except frogs ruining some rich peoples 4th of july party.
cut to almost 40 years later and were all still here to laugh at what fools our parents were to worry about the environment.
im guessing my children will be showing the happening at their spooktaculars.

Spooktacular #3 - King Kong (1976)
this was actually scheduled to be one of the films for 2001s spooktacular, but that was the year that 9/11 happened and it just felt too soon to show a film with a giant monkey crawling all over the world trade center (we will never forget).
im not sure if its still too soon, or if it stopped being too soon a while ago, but im sick of waiting.
ive been sitting on this gem for years and the feelings of my more whiny friends will just have to take a back seat to awesome.
i dont get how this thing fell between the cracks. in some ways, its the best king kong movie.
little handpuppet king kong: old and dumb.
cgi king kong, which you know is really some british character actor in form-fitting lycra: … distracting.
man in a king kong suit: just right.

Spooktacular #2 - Evil Dead
seriously people, this ones a classic.
im not even going to bother doing a write up for you. all im going to say is this:
tree rape.
be there.

Spooktacular #1 - Predator 2
you want to know the definition of unfair? there were four alien movies, and they all suck. there were only two predator films, and they were awesome. then the aliens came in and totally femmed up the predators.
aliens v. predators has a predator teaming up with some human chick to fight their common enemy. as opposed to ripping her spine out of her back and using it like a crazy straw.
thats like a hunter and a deer working together to defeat a bear: its lame and retarded.
im surprised the sex in the city movie didnt have the predators palling around with girls, sipping cosmos, and shopping.
anyway, the real predators went out in a blaze of masculine glory in this amazing film which sees danny glover fighting the space devils with a little help from the human equivalent of a predator: gary busey.
by the way, kudos to gary busey – the first actor to star in two #1 spooktacular films!