Post-Prom Party

i was going to write about this right after it happened but, i dont know, i guess i needed a couple of days to put what happened in proper perspective.
i might not have gone to prom but i did make sure to crash the all night post-prom party being held by the most popular girl in my grade.
now that i think about it, popular isnt the right word.
i guess shes popular in the same way that caligula was popular, meaning shes powerful and feared.
if her posse had the chance though, you can bet theyd knife her behind the vomitorium.
girls.
so anyway, if shes caligula, this party was her giant incestuous orgy to celebrate her horses election to the senate.
and if the theme of the prom was "unda' da' sea", the theme of the post-prom party was "i have to go to the bathroom so bad. . . but i cant stand up."
the whole thing was totally crazy.
it was like, '120 days of sodom' done in one night.
there was booze, drugs, and an alleged manwich or two.
personally, i got totally wasted.
i was hoping i was going to turn out to be one of those smooth drunks whos all like: "hey baby let me rub up on you."
unfortunately, i turned out to be one of those weepy drunks and i spent the whole night holding people tight and saying how much i was going to miss them when we went off to college in a loud voice.
truly it was night that i will never remember

originally posted: Tuesday, April 04, 2006