all those other holidays had their shot, now its time for the big dog to show them how its done.
woof.
i just got back into war a week ago, and ive already received a great present from me to me.
see, i write down a lot of stuff. you know, things. and i write this stuff down on little pieces of paper, and i just put them places and then i forget about them. so when i come home i get to rediscover all the secret messages i left myself.
for instance, the following is an actual note i found that i had written to myself.
im not sure if it was a dream or an idea for a childrens show, but whatever it was i decided to write it down and hide it in a drawer:
the animal kids from franklin are having a magic school bus adventure.
only it isnt ms. frizzle in charge.
its captain planet, and hes trying to teach them about insect life.
so all the kids are shrunk down to the size of insects and captain planet takes them to a river.
so otter starts acting up and is screwing around in the water. i mean, its her nature, but shes asking for trouble.
and she gets it.
a trout eats her.
so now that shit has started to get real, captain planet makes the kids normal sized and bails on them.
thanks a lot.
anyway, the kids are crying by the river, cursing god and asking him to take them instead.
just then, a giant trout jump out of the river and swallows them whole.
but it turns out the trout is just the magic school bus, shaped like a trout.
and who is piloting it?
george w bush.
but hes young and covered in horrible third degree burns.
the kids are all freaked out by him, but he doesnt notice. he just drives his fish bus around the lake, sharing with them life lessons he learned from living too hard.
hope you guys get a present as good as that.
merry christmas.
originally posted: Wednesday, December 23, 2009
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