Blood

im now, officially, a better person than you.
see all this week the red cross has been having a blood drive just off campus.
the first day they were actually on university grounds, but they got chased away because the nazareneths dont like needles.
or blood.
or giving.
so anyway for the first couple of days it was a total sausage fest out there begging me to give up some of my blood so i was just faking like i already had.
then, yesterday, they had this super hot chick out there who was all like, “wanna give blood” and i was all like, “youve already caused me to donate a pint of blood to my pants.”
that lost me major points, so i decided to get my ground back by actually giving blood.
the first time i tried they said no because of this weird medication ive been taking. after waiting about 20 minutes i came back and this time i knew which questions to lie about on the form.
the guy they had sticking me with the needle was a total spastic. i mean seriously, you could probably have gone to the nearest street corner and found a transvestite prostitute who could stick a needle in a vein just fine, and i bet they never went to medical school.
or if they did, they choked on the finals.
still it was all worth it cause i got a free shirt, a free cookie, and i redeemed myself to that hot girl.
which leaves me exactly where i was when she didnt know me.
i think i have a chance with her.

originally posted: Friday, October 20, 2006