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its good to be back home.
even if "home" is a place full of grandpas who would just as soon send me back to art camp.
thats right, art camp.
its like normal camp, except your macaroni glue pictures have to be "aesthetically pleasing". and instead of kayaking you watch your gay roommate shave his legs.
well the guys there werent actually gay, because that would have been too easy.
if they were gay then i would have had 6 weeks at an open minded chick smorgasbord (smurgesburg?)
it seemed so simple i wondered why no other straight guys had thought of it before.
turns out all the dudes were bi, so all i got were some charity threesome offers.
not cool.
but despite the creepiness, camp was pretty fun on account of everyone there was so sensitive.
it took me a couple of days to realize but it was really easy to make those guys mad.
id just come up behind them when they were doing a still life and be all like: "woah ted!" (if their name was ted) "looks like kandinsky got all gay all over your picture."
i had no idea what i was talking about, but they would freak out.
one guy tried to slice me.
i didnt get into any big trouble until the last night though.
me and this other guy decided we should do something totally in your face and he was all like: "dude, we should get some spray paint and cover the walls in abstract art!"
we probably would have gotten away with it, but it turned out so well we had to sign our names.
we ended up winning best in show. and a night in the box.
oh man. id rather kill myself then spend another night in. . . the box.
speaking of which someone told me that gary hung himself while I was out of town.

originally posted: Wednesday, August 03, 2005